by McKenzie Janisz
An endless sea of doors ahead, condemned to test them all. Knowing the keys I have won’t work, I travel back and forth, and back and forth, wandering wall to wall. My hope wanes and waxes with the moon, a cyclical force of nature. A mockery, a trick, a cheat— my heart set as the wager. I spiral down and as I go, I think there may be light, with heavy body and scrambled mind, I try and try, to fight. But like the phases of the moon, my soul, too, cannot be changed. The doors remain locked, and though I knock, and knock, I’m made to look, but never touch, to want but never have. I’m made to dream, but never achieve, I’m made to be the Strange.
About the Contributor & Piece
McKenzie Janisz (she/her) is a graduating senior at Ramapo studying Music Industry with a minor in Philosophy. She began writing poetry and music in elementary school, forming countless “bands” on the playground at recess. In everything McKenzie does, she strives for authenticity, framing her experience genuinely with every shot and every word.
The Strange conveys the longing for authentic and meaningful connections on the autism spectrum. Given a different set of “keys” than everyone else, the speaker struggles to connect with others beyond the surface, grappling with feelings of isolation and helplessness.