Not That Kind of Sorry

By Devon S Roberts

I don’t mean sorry as in I regret the actions that I took that led to this great upset, but 
   sorry, as in: today is three years since my mother died, and I told no one, not even her
I just feel better among strangers who can’t summon old, long-dead names— it’s 
   a feeling like swallowing hydrogen peroxide 
Listen, I know I should be sorry for how recklessly I bandy about these terms 
   like mother and estranged, and I don’t think we were ready for each other, and no one 
   told us what to do 
I’m sorry because I should be an animal in grief; be 
   an elephant marching alongside elders to watch them quiet themselves away to lie
   over their elder’s bones and remember 
   the exact position of the sun or taste of the brush and bark
But everyone else should apologize for how they 
   romanticize the way a dog 
   waits for his owner to offboard the subway
   and let him back into the world 
Contributor Bio

Devon S Roberts (they/he) is a senior majoring in English with a concentration in Creative Writing at Ramapo College.


Posted

in

,