what to expect by age 25

by Devon S Roberts

1. Still, you are the only sober one. 
2. You can no longer expect a card in the mail from your mom.  
3. Your naivety has stopped growing. 
It fuses with your breastbone into a vestigial shield. 
4. Most of your childhood 
plans haven't worked out; 
you're not sure if 15-year-old-you would be proud 
5. Loved ones flinch at seeing you grow; unqualified 
to hide their disappointment
seeing the seeds they'd sown still ungrown. 
6. Some of your friends are dead. 
7. The quality of your poetry accelerates 
or ebbs with grief, and this makes you feel like a vampire. 
8. You hate milk. 
9. You begin listing the things you want 
to do and swear you'll make it happen this time.
10. You never stop listing.
11. As a mental exercise, you imagine what sex would be like with the just divorced barista negotiating who will get the kids on Christmas. You psychically kiss, date, fuck, and dump him in the time it takes to make your coffee. 
12. It's been 11 years since your last near-death experience. 
13. A murmur from your stomach reminds—it's not all about you.
14. This is your third body.
15. Once a boardwalk psychic sat you in her store and prayed with your hands to her gray head. She hummed open-mouth and rubbed your ear. Instead of divining your future, she hugged you. She pushed a cool stone into your palm and turned away. 
16. This is your tenth home. 
17. The calendar reminds you it’s getting late.
18. You're just glad that the bed sheets are clean. 
19. You rarely give yourself time or space to finish what you started.